Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Randomize
