dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
