She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
