Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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