I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
