You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
