Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
