OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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