Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
