who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
