Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
