in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
A bitchslap is in order.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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