Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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