If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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