So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize