Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
