YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
