Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I died a long time ago.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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