I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
