Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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