If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
