Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
