So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
