I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
did i walk over a car last night?
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Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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