babies were throwing up all over the place
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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