considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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