Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
