I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
