I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
