and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
