brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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