I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
