The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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