first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
