she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
