there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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