taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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