Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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