Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
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We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
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If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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