I want to stick my p in your. b.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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