I heard we made out
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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