Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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