is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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