Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
