ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
