Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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