You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize