is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
