he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
