so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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