If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
