from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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