I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
