Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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