yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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