hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
