Your tits are I can't wait for
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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