I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize