so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
