Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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