Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
