Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Me too!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
